you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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