I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
