Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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