Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my phone needs a breathalizer
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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