Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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