Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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