I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize