My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
