they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
