I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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