I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
