dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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