ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
