you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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