sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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