on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
