Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
