dude i'm inner monologue high
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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