I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
