this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
