I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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