Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
honey bunches of taint.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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