How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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