doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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