all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
