Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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