i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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