i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
