I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.