Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.