someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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