You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.