Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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