hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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