Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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