he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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