i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
