you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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