SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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