i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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