You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
