i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
