i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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