Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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