Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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