All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize