I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
