No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
