I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
