WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
