im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
