"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
