White coat. Heels.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
