Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
