Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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