I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
