Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
