Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
