Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
