tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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