I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
