he thought i was a dude.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
