Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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