why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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